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How to stand up and be a mom--yes, even in the workplace, from This Is How We Do It, by Working Mother Media CEO Carol Evans. | ||
Back in 1978, the first test issue of Working Mother included a wonderful feature entitled "I'm a Mother First." Nine years after, I finally understood its message as I held my fragile new baby in my arms. To say that we're mothers first may sound completely obvious. But for moms who work, this has often been a silent truth. An openly "mother first" attitude at the office can negatively affect our careers at some companies. If bosses or coworkers (even other mothers!) think a woman is too mommy-oriented, they begin to feel she won't be reliable in a crunch, won't want to take on demanding assignments, won't be able to keep up. So many of us have to keep our secret to ourselves.
Ironically, we keep our mothers-first secret to protect our children. Like the earliest moms, we know we have to watch out for ourselves to keep our children
Wake Up and Smell the Baby Powder
In 2001, right after I acquired Working Mother magazine with the investment group MCG Capital and formed Working Mother Media, I was invited to go on CNBC to debate whether moms who work outside the home could be good mothers. I had debated the very same topic on television 20 years earlier! But rather than continue this debate, what if there was a national conversation about how working mothers have positively affected and influenced our society and country?
Imagine, just for a moment, what would happen if all mothers in the country suddenly decided to stay home. Overnight, more than 26 million jobs could become vacant and the United States' economy would grind to a standstill. There would not be a financial institution, hospital, school, television station or pharmaceutical firm that could continue to function. Now imagine if families stopped spending the earnings that working mothers make. According to estimates based on Bureau of Labor Statistics numbers, mothers who work full-time may contribute as much as $400 billion a year to family incomes. And let's not forget how many tax dollars we pay on our purchases and our income. Working mothers keep our government in business, too.
For 21 years, Working Mother has published the Working Mother 100 Best Companies. These winning companies already understand the great value of moms in the workforce. And they're creating cultures of parenthood, where parents are encouraged to—gasp!—talk about their children. At S.C. Johnson & Son Inc., based in Racine, WI, the company's on-site child-care center emails pictures of kids to parents' computers throughout the day. And at Avon, where 72 percent of employees and 54 percent of top earners are women, you can see what business culture will be like when women run more companies. When a visiting manager from Avon's Europe division nervously asked how to break the ice with Avon CEO Andrea Jung, his colleague replied, "Ask her about her kids."
Okay, I don't expect your average CEO to small-talk about toddlers instead of touchdowns anytime soon. But those companies that have invested in a culture of parenthood are finding that the right programs can increase retention, decrease absenteeism and create a more stable, productive workforce.
These firms, and many others that we write about in Working Mother, understand that we are mothers first, whether we put our family photos on the desk or not. And we're brilliant, valuable, committed workers. So now, the time has come to reveal our secret—and live it openly.
No More Phone Booths!
We've discovered another hidden truth: that a big part of what can make it all work for us "mom first" career women is fusion—the freedom to let our home and work lives blend together at certain points in our days and our lives, allowing a person to bring her home life to work and her work life home.
When I returned to work at Working Mother after my first maternity leave, I was able to combine work and family with great success. We photographed my new son, Robert, for an advertising campaign. I talked about Robert and my husband, Bob, on all of my sales calls to offer real-life examples of the target audience our advertising clients were looking for. Everyone knew all about Robert and his sleepless nights! Fusing was easy at Working Mother. But I've found ways to marry my work and home lives at every place I've worked. This has contributed to my success by making me feel good about my choices and bringing me closer to my business colleagues.
Fortunately, companies are starting to see the value in fusion—and not just because it makes workers feel more balanced. There's a new idea percolating in the world of work: that employers may get a better deal if they allow the whole person who works for them to be present on the job—not just the part who answers phones or manages sales or works on the assembly line, but all of the qualities that make a person who she or he is. By making room for each person's unique combination of tastes, talents, experience and background, companies reap the benefits of an employee's individuality. And moms no longer have to go through a split-personality-superhero-in-the-phone-booth change twice a day.
For decades, women have been leaving half of themselves outside their company's door. Never mentioning the family at work because it might make them sound less committed. Saying they're stepping out for a meeting instead of a teacher conference. Fortunately, at family-friendly companies that's all changing.
For Janet Truncale of Berkeley Heights, NJ, who works four days a week, fusion means her clients at Ernst & Young know what she has planned during her days off with Gabrielle, 8, Noah, 5, and Freddy, 3. "My clients know that if anything's important, they can reach me on my BlackBerry," she says. They also know my children's schedules, so when I'm taking Noah to the gym, they won't call me." For Diane Wedderburn, the information technology expert in our office, fusion meant bringing her daughter, Alía, 11, into the office almost every day last summer—and Alía loved it.
Fusion doesn't mean you have to combine 100 percent of your work with your life, so your kids are running in and out of the office and you're always answering your cell phone at soccer games! Instead, fusion means selecting key points where you want your work and home lives to blend. Maybe that's feeling comfortable enough to talk about your child's school play at work; maybe it means having the flexibility to leave during the day to see that play. Maybe it means telecommuting a day or two a week. The points of fusion that work for each parent will vary. But in the end, finding a degree of fusion can help you feel like a whole person and make you happier at work and at home. Getting it depends on the participation of companies willing to make changes and create a parent-friendly culture.
Not every company can allow all kinds of fusion. For example, the chaos kids might create in the office doesn't work at most big corporate workplaces. But you needn't offer bowling in the hallway and office-chair races to create more fusion. Women are fusing their work and home lives through flextime and telecommuting programs, job-sharing and compressed workweeks. More new moms are able to pump at work, thanks to more office lactation programs. And companies are starting to bring home and work together by offering everything from take-home meals from the company cafeteria to parenting workshops.
Working mothers have a prime opportunity to change the way companies work. In truth, employers are facing a massive shortage of employees that will last for decades as huge numbers of baby boomers begin to retire. In the next decade, companies will become more and more desperate to find and keep great employees at all levels. So the time to tell them exactly what we need is now.
Fusion allows us to live whole lives, so we don't feel torn and bereft of our families while at work and panicky about work when we should be fully present at home. If we ask for the changes we need to make fusion happen, all of us—families, companies and communities—will be richer for it.
http://www.workingmother.com/web?service=direct/1/ViewAdvancedPortalPage/PortalBlocks/dlinkArticle&sp=S294&sp=96
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